Have you ever wondered why some people are able to bounce back from the worst catastrophes, while others get crushed and never recover from misfortune?
What is the difference between the man or woman whose life gets turned upside down and still keeps moving, and the one who drowns in their misery?
The truth is this, it’s all psychology. And the key to building that survivor mindset is a little known concept called Radical Acceptance.
This article Explains
• The concept of radical acceptance
• Why it is one of the most powerful mental tools you can have
• How to apply it in your life
First, what is radical acceptance?
The word “radical” means all the way, complete, total. Radical acceptance means completely accepting a situation, a reality, or a circumstance with the totality of your being, mind, body, and soul, without judgment. Accepting it as it is, without labeling it right or wrong.
This is especially useful in situations you cannot change. Because the truth is, complaining and resisting bad circumstances does not change them.
If rejecting your reality does not change it, why not accept it?
One thing every adult learns is that life will not always turn out the way we want. Disappointments and losses are inevitable.
But rejecting reality is what turns these disappointments into suffering. The kind that comes with bitterness, anger, sadness, guilt, shame, and even trauma.
So how do we accept reality when faced with a tragic event? How do we move on when life looks nothing like what we planned?
This is exactly where radical acceptance comes in.
Getting through difficult circumstances requires a belief that the future can be better than the present. And even if it is not, that life is still worth living, even with painful experiences.
Imagine this.
You have invested a lot of time and money into building a ship. Now you are proudly sailing across the Pacific.
Without warning, a storm hits. You did not see it coming.
The storm overpowers your ship and slams you into the rocks. Your ship is wrecked. But you survived.
Do you moan and drown in self pity over what happened? Maybe a little. That is human.
But what you should do instead is this. First, accept that your ship is wrecked and that you cannot undo what has happened. Then pull yourself together, look through the ruins, figure out what you can salvage, pick those pieces up, and move forward.
Do not get me wrong. It is okay to feel bad when bad things happen. But the goal is to reduce unnecessary suffering and keep your distress at a minimum.
Here are the steps that will help you get there:
- Look inward and identify a reality you are struggling to accept
- Remind yourself that this reality, although painful, cannot be changed
- Allow the feelings to rise. Sadness, disappointment, shame, guilt, anger. Do not fight them
- Accept the situation without judgment. It is what it is. People who practice mindfulness and intentional self talk tend to do this better
- Look for the lessons. These are the salvageable parts of the shipwreck
- Envision a better future
- Set goals and start working toward them
This is how you recover from setbacks.
And it applies to almost any loss in life. Job loss, failed investments, broken relationships, even the death of a loved one.
If this post resonated with you, I have created a comprehensive guide that gives you a thorough breakdown of this principle and shows you exactly how to apply it in real life.